Happy Mother's Day to My Children's First Mother

To my children's first mother,

Happy Mother's Day! A whole lot of people have preconceived notions about you. Some of them may be right, but many of them are wrong. The very nature of how our lives intersected shows that something fell apart, though I don't know why. I don't know how. What I do know, is that among the bad things that happened, you did something very right when you brought these babies into the world. Strangers stop me constantly to tell me how cute the kids are. That's all you, girl. The oldest looks just like you, you know. She has your eyes and your cheeks, and I'm guessing she gets her beaming smile and dimples from you too. She has your looks, and she has my expressions. She has your blood, and she has my name. You had her in the beginning, and I have her growing up. You are her biological mother, and I am her mommy.

I've been your champion, expecting the best, and believing you can change... Because I know you are capable of it. I feel it in my heart. You and I haven't had a lot of interaction in the last couple years, but I've looked into your eyes. We've exchanged letters back and forth on occasion. You've made mistakes - so have I. But you know what... you deserve to be respected. You are not the sum of your mistakes. You are worthy of love.

I won't hide the truth from our kids, but I'll do my best to answer their future questions with honesty and grace. I cannot change the fact that you are the biological mother of our children, nor do I want to. You are a part of who they are, and to deny you would be to deny them. I only hope that you find redemption in the messy beginning, and that your future takes a different path.

They're our children, you know. You and I are forever connected. I'm sure we'll meet again one day. I'd like that. For now, happy mother's day. I'm thankful for you because, without you, my children would not exist. I pray that you find healing this mother's day, and realize that you are loved.

Until we meet again,
Your children's mommy

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