You Do NOT Have to be Called to be a Foster Parent!
James 1:27 "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
Matthew 25:35-40 "'For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of my brothers, you did it to me.'"
I don't know about you, but when I read those verses, I don't see anything about "If you feel called" or "If it's comfortable" or "When it's convenient for you" or "If you have peace" or "If you prayed about it." PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME... Keep reading. Let me break it down for you. Will it be beneficial for a Christian foster parent to remain connected to God during their journey? Absolutely! In fact, this is addressed here. I am, in no way, advocating for a lack of prayer in the lives of foster parents. Foster parents, as anyone, should continually find rest, comfort, and strength in the appropriate place - God..... however.....
I have seen all too many well-meaning foster parents blame God for their decisions. When I worked for a foster care and adoption agency, foster parents came to me saying, "God called us to foster and adopt," then they have one placement, give up a few weeks later, and never foster again. Oh, and "We prayed about it, and you need to find them a new home." I've seen other families wait and wait and wait for the perfect child, claiming that God told them these were the kids! A few months later, the adoption has fallen apart and God 'told' them that it's just not the right time for them to adopt.
So, who changed their mind? Did God? Or did they? I think the answer is obvious.
Please, if you feel a tug on your heart to foster, remember that He will help you. The road is not easy. The reward is not immediate. Surround yourself with people who will pray for you, support you (babysit!!!), tell you when you're just being emotional, and give you Biblical advice. Stay fresh in your relationship with Him. Lastly, remember that you're human and you make mistakes. You're going to let someone down. You'll hurt someone's feelings. There's truly no shame in that. What's shameful is using God as our excuse for the choices that we make.
So you don't have to be called. You don't have to receive a special revelation. We are all called... already... by the Bible. While we are all called to get involved, it is true that some may not have the same skill set or resources as others. If you've experienced some traumatic things in your life and don't think you're at a place where you can foster, then maybe your place is in providing meals for foster families when they get a new placement. If you're 18 years old and you don't have the financial and long-term stability that a child needs, then find out how you can become a babysitter to support other families. If you just do not feel you have the knowledge-base or training, then ask around, attend some classes, and do your research. We all learn as we go!
When my husband and I decided to take the leap to become foster parents, we never felt a special kind of confirmation that it was the right thing to do. We thought, rationally, through the logistics.
- We knew we had the personal experience. 🗹
- We knew we had the willingness. 🗹
- Do we have the time? 🗹
- Do we have the resources? 🗹
- Do we have a strong support system? 🗹
- *insert your own questions here*
- What's the worst that will happen? Our answer for this was that we would see a placement through, and if we determined it just was not the right time, we would take a break (Spoiler alert: It was exactly the right time).
Don't wait for a special revelation that you should be a foster parent. Act. You have talents and abilities. What are your strengths as a parent? What are your weaknesses? Are you emotionally stable and physically healthy? Do you have the finances necessary to provide for a child? Have you thought about your biological kids (see previous post) and the impact it will have on them? Do you have a strong support system who will become approved to babysit for you for a night or a few days? If you have assessed yourself, your family, and your life, and feel you have the capability to be a foster or adoptive parent, then dig deeper. You're not committing to a child by simply attending an informational meeting. Depending on where you are from, there are many non-committal meetings that you can attend to simply get more information to see if foster care and adoption is for you (For those in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, see here and here for general information meetings).
This is why I believe you don't have to have a special calling to be a foster parent. You simply have to move your feet and do what God has already called you to do - take care of His children. And when the going gets tough, remember that you are human, you make mistakes, and you are responsible for the choices that you make.
Comments
Post a Comment