Stop Making Adoption Part of Your Anti-Abortion Debate
Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop bringing adoption into your anti-abortion debate. I'm not telling you not to stand against abortion. In fact, I consider myself to be pro-life. But the problem I've seen happen over and over is that individuals are spreading misinformation in an effort to make their anti-abortion stance stronger.
Here's what I've come to realize about the adoption vs. abortion conversation: By even talking about the cost of adoption, we are saying that life only matters as much as it doesn't break our bank account. Life only matters as long as I don't have to get a second job to adopt. Or as long as I don't have to cut corners. Or unless I have to actually do the work to research ways that adoption can absolutely be affordable.
Every single time someone says that they would adopt if it weren't so expensive, I make sure to chime in. If you read my posting from about a year ago (How to Adopt Without Breaking the Bank), then you already know that adoption doesn't have to be expensive at all. A little while ago, a post was circulating that said it would be great if the government funded adoptions instead of abortions... well, they kind of do. When a child is placed in a foster home, foster parents get a monthly stipend. If kids are adoptable, they may qualify for ongoing services. In the state of Texas, sibling groups, minorities over the age of two, majorities over the age of six, and kids with life-long medical needs all generally qualify for court costs covered, Medicaid, and a monthly 'child support check.'
Not only is adoption from foster care a totally affordable option, but there are also other ways to make international and private domestic adoptions more attainable as well. There's a great organization, Show Hope, that provides the opportunity for individuals to apply for a grant to help with the costs of adoption. I also have friends who are doing their own fundraising to help pay for the cost of having adopted their two children in another country. I've seen this particular mama sew, put together fun-mail, and create other such things to sell in order to raise the funds needed. She's doing the work necessary.
There's no reason to revisit the cost here today - if you want more information, head on over to the linked previous post. If you didn't know before, then please, feel no shame! Just make sure to spread the correct information from here on out.
So, if this posting frustrated you, then I urge you to consider a few things...
Being pro-life means being for those who are already born. It also means supporting those who have yet to be born, in order for them to have the best chance at life. It doesn't always mean adoption.
What about infant and maternal mortality rates? The CDC's Pregnancy Mortality Surveillance System records that black mothers are three to four times more likely than white mothers to suffer a pregnancy-related death. If we are pro-life, we cannot ignore statistics like these! We must rally behind, and support the work that others like My Sister's Keeper - Birth & Midwifery Services are already doing to fight these statistics.
What about social justice? Are we willing to tackle and change the statistics of those in the margins of society? The National Center for Children in Poverty states that nearly 21% of all kids in the United States live in poverty. What are we willing to do to support those children - already born - who are deeply loved by their parents, yet don't have access to the same opportunities as we do? There must be more than just talk. And obviously adoption isn't the answer.
What about the elderly who don't have transportation and can't afford to prepare their own meals? If we're really pro-life like we say we are, then we should be connecting with organizations like Meals on Wheels who deliver meals to the elderly during the week. Each week, my kids and I make deliveries to a number of local residents, and these elderly individuals could not be more grateful.
In closing, there are many ways to support your stance at being pro-life. If you choose adoption as your reference point, then please stop referring to it as being too expensive. Not only is it not really that expensive, but it's also a poor argument all the way around.... because adoption is only a small piece of being pro-life.
Lastly, even if adoption were expensive, is not a life worth it?
Here's what I've come to realize about the adoption vs. abortion conversation: By even talking about the cost of adoption, we are saying that life only matters as much as it doesn't break our bank account. Life only matters as long as I don't have to get a second job to adopt. Or as long as I don't have to cut corners. Or unless I have to actually do the work to research ways that adoption can absolutely be affordable.
Every single time someone says that they would adopt if it weren't so expensive, I make sure to chime in. If you read my posting from about a year ago (How to Adopt Without Breaking the Bank), then you already know that adoption doesn't have to be expensive at all. A little while ago, a post was circulating that said it would be great if the government funded adoptions instead of abortions... well, they kind of do. When a child is placed in a foster home, foster parents get a monthly stipend. If kids are adoptable, they may qualify for ongoing services. In the state of Texas, sibling groups, minorities over the age of two, majorities over the age of six, and kids with life-long medical needs all generally qualify for court costs covered, Medicaid, and a monthly 'child support check.'
Not only is adoption from foster care a totally affordable option, but there are also other ways to make international and private domestic adoptions more attainable as well. There's a great organization, Show Hope, that provides the opportunity for individuals to apply for a grant to help with the costs of adoption. I also have friends who are doing their own fundraising to help pay for the cost of having adopted their two children in another country. I've seen this particular mama sew, put together fun-mail, and create other such things to sell in order to raise the funds needed. She's doing the work necessary.
There's no reason to revisit the cost here today - if you want more information, head on over to the linked previous post. If you didn't know before, then please, feel no shame! Just make sure to spread the correct information from here on out.
So, if this posting frustrated you, then I urge you to consider a few things...
Are you really pro-life, or are you just anti-abortion?What's your reason for being pro-life or anti-abortion? Is it because God "knit me together in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139:14), and says that He knew me before I was formed (Jeremiah 1:5)? Is it because you struggle to conceive children biologically, and it hits closet to home? Is it just what your political party is supposed to do? Maybe it's a combination of a lot of reasons. And that's okay, really. It's what you do with the reasons that matters.
Valuing life means so much more than valuing birth.If you're pro-life, then what are you doing to show it? If your only answer is that you're posting on social media or going to marches for life, then I'd encourage you to dig a bit deeper. In addition, if we are only interested in adoption, then we've missed the bigger picture of being pro-life.
Being pro-life means being for those who are already born. It also means supporting those who have yet to be born, in order for them to have the best chance at life. It doesn't always mean adoption.
What about infant and maternal mortality rates? The CDC's Pregnancy Mortality Surveillance System records that black mothers are three to four times more likely than white mothers to suffer a pregnancy-related death. If we are pro-life, we cannot ignore statistics like these! We must rally behind, and support the work that others like My Sister's Keeper - Birth & Midwifery Services are already doing to fight these statistics.
What about social justice? Are we willing to tackle and change the statistics of those in the margins of society? The National Center for Children in Poverty states that nearly 21% of all kids in the United States live in poverty. What are we willing to do to support those children - already born - who are deeply loved by their parents, yet don't have access to the same opportunities as we do? There must be more than just talk. And obviously adoption isn't the answer.
What about the elderly who don't have transportation and can't afford to prepare their own meals? If we're really pro-life like we say we are, then we should be connecting with organizations like Meals on Wheels who deliver meals to the elderly during the week. Each week, my kids and I make deliveries to a number of local residents, and these elderly individuals could not be more grateful.
Life begins at conception, and it doesn't stop there.
In closing, there are many ways to support your stance at being pro-life. If you choose adoption as your reference point, then please stop referring to it as being too expensive. Not only is it not really that expensive, but it's also a poor argument all the way around.... because adoption is only a small piece of being pro-life.Lastly, even if adoption were expensive, is not a life worth it?
I have been studying maternal death a bit recently. The statistic about black mothers should get our attention but it also used to propagate an idea that birth is dangerous and black mothers should instead have abortions. Totally false idea! Maternal death is rare! But of course any unnecessary and especially racially bias death should be eliminated with all our best efforts. What I found in my early research is one of the best ways to save mothers' lives during birth is to have a birth crash cart in the hospital that has the refrigerated meds and surgical tools standing by in the case of hemorrhaging. So my next step now is to find out which hospitals have these carts and are they available in minority communities.
ReplyDeleteI consider myself pro-life and try to consider ways to carry that view well beyond the birth, but abortion is murder any way you cut it and I hope that it ends in our lifetime. I also know that needing adoptive families is not the barrier for these moms choosing life. There are parents waiting for newborn babies all over our country. The kids who are waiting for parents are older. I have women come in my clinic every week who will choose an abortion over placing for adoption, but it is for many other reasons than there not being parents to raise the baby.
Being pro-life can not be isolated to one issue. It should influence the way you think about poverty, refugees and the death penalty. Being pro-life influences the way you think about life and death.
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